I read somewhere that the best way to keep a marriage fresh is to always Act Like You’re Dating. I like the sound of that. I don’t think it is always that easy, but it works. If you keep in mind the wants and desires of your spouse, you will both be happier.

          Personally, I like to take my husband’s advice. He has always said that he tries to Live Life Without Regrets. When it comes to family, he doesn’t do anything that he might regret. He puts a great deal of thought into everything. He NEVER loses his temper, he spends a lot of quality time with me and our kids, and he is very compassionate about our future. He is wonderful.

          Honesty Is The Best Policy. YES, but I have to say, you might just regret giving too much detail. My husband knows absolutely everything about my past, not that there’s much to tell, but he knows about every little crush I’ve ever had. I must say, when it comes to your actions, thoughts and desires, from day one of your relationship…they are fair game. You owe it to yourself and your spouse, to be open and honest about everything!

          The most important piece of advice I have ever gotten about relationships also came from my husband. We were dating and he asked me if I liked something he had made for dinner. I didn’t want to say, “NO!” So, I said “Oh, yeah. It’s great!” Well, that was a mistake. Every time he talked about making me dinner, he would talk about that first meal.  Finally, I had to come clean. Thus, the advice was born. He said, “Honey, don’t lead me to believe you like something just to spare my feelings. If I think you like something, I’ll keep doing it. If you tell me the truth, we’ll find what you do like, together.” Well, that was much better. And that advice works in all aspects of your relationship … food, personal habits, sex, driving styles and so much more. Don’t set up patterns of behavior that you won’t be happy to continue. Things change, but don’t allow unrealistic expectations taint the relationship.  Be Real From The Start.

                    The Little Things Really Are BIG.  Wake your spouse with a kiss, go to bed with a kiss, be patient, and listen to him when he’s talking. I know it’s difficult sometimes, to hear him over the kids screaming, the dog barking, the TV blasting and the white noise that seems to go on endlessly, but it’s important. Give him a few minutes to relax when he comes home from work. Don’t throw the kids at him as soon as he walks in the door. Make his favorite meal when he’s had a hard day. Surprise him with the occasional dinner out along with tickets to his favorite team or the movies. Compliment him. Men need compliments and thanks as much as women.

          The point is, if you want a great relationship, you have to put a great deal of work into it. It’s not even work, it is care. Whatever you want in life, you have to work for it…especially love.

          Shopping with the kids doesn’t necessarily have to be a hassle. I know…you don’t believe me.
I have been in the store with my cousins, nieces, friends’ kids, and my own two kids so I know frustration! If they aren’t asking for everything they see, they’re bickering amongst themselves, screaming about one thing or another, or running off.
          If this is not your main complaint, I would assume it is the fact that you are taking more into the store than you actually plan to bring out. You have to carry in the baby, the baby carrier, the diaper bag, a toy and any older kids you may have. By the time you get in the door, you’ve forgotten why you are even there.
          Why then do we even take them out? LOL…because we have to. But running errands doesn’t have to be this difficult.

          Try a few of these little tricks and see if they help you.

          1. Make sure you keep a change of clothes for your little ones in your car…At All Times! There has been more than one occasion, when my child has gotten car sick while out shopping. Plus, you never know when a spill will occur.
          2. Let your child know why you are going out. If you are grocery shopping or shopping for school clothes (etc.), let them know there will be NO shopping for toys.
          3. Make sure everyone eats and uses the restroom before leaving the house. There is nothing worse than carting a baby carrier and a couple of kids into a public restroom while another child uses it.
          4. Keep the kids entertained in the car. Use music, and conversation. Although TV’s are wonderful in the car for long trips and vacations, using music and conversation is best to keep in touch with what’s going on in your older child’s life and is great for stimulating the minds of your younger children.

          The point is … you don’t have to lose your mind every time you need to run out to pick up a loaf of bread. Try to relax and laugh about these small trials and tribulations. After all, you are lucky to have them!

I can’t pretend I know what to do on this one. I know what works for me…sometimes.
My daughter is only nine years old and I am already getting…THE ATTITUDE. You remember the one, don’t you? The one where you roll your eyes at EVERYTHING! You suck your teeth and act like everything and everyone is stupid and ridiculous. Well, I remember having that attitude.
When I was a teen-ager, my mom would slap me in the mouth every time I turned around. I thought I was so misunderstood. It’s funny, how the tables turn. Now, I’m the one pulling my hair out over a smart mouth little girl.
My little girl is caught in that age where she feels silly being little, playing with dolls and pretending with her little brother. But, she is also too young to act like a teen-ager. She wants to listen to music and talk about cute boys, but she also wants to play tea party in her room with her stuffed animals. She has also taken to talking back to absolutely everything she is told. This is what I have labeled her “Pre-teen Funk!” And believe me, it’s getting old. I keep hearing myself saying the exact same things to my little girl that my mother said to me, “What am I going to do with you?” And, to be honest, I don’t know, but I think that angers me the most.
I remember when I was going through these feelings, but I was much older. I guess things got really confusing at around 13 years old. I had long since stopped “playing”. I liked Nintendo, and watching VH1, but I still felt a little like a little girl. I wanted independence and to be treated like an adult. I had taken on a lot of responsibility around the house. I was babysitting, helping with laundry, vacuuming and washing dishes. I didn’t really remember being “little”, but I couldn’t quite figure out how to be a “grown up”. My mom had a great way of helping me cope.
My mom would talk to me. Sounds simple, right? Well, ever tried that with a pre-teen? Talking to your kid is not always easy. I don’t mean a serious conversation; I mean the simple act of talking. Chit-chat is almost impossible.
My mom would talk to me in the car. I would find myself alone with her in the car. We would be going to the grocery store and running errands, and we would just start talking. Before I knew it, I was spilling my guts about whatever was on my mind. She never planned it. It wasn’t a grand scheme or an ingenious tip she found online…like this one…she just did it. I think it was just easier to talk when it wasn’t the point of us being alone together. Neither of us felt like we were being put on the spot. We couldn’t even look one another in the eye. It was great and very relaxing. We became friends in that car.
Later, I heard on a morning news show, that someone had coined the phrase Car Therapy. This type of communication between parents and kids was advised by many psychologists…as long as you, the parent could keep your cool while driving. So, this is what I do. When things get tense at home with my daughter, I take her along while I run errands and we talk. If she isn’t talkative, I take the lead, or just play some music that we both enjoy. That seems to lighten both our moods, and then we are able to talk.
It seems like kids are maturing faster and having teen problems at pre-teen ages now. Like I said, I don’t remember going through all this until much older. But hopefully, for all our sakes, maybe the Pre-Teen funk has replaced the teen-aged angst and we can all just get on with life.